The Pizza Boy

by John Cosper

Scene 1

(Briana sits against a wall. Greg walks by.)

BRIANA- Where you going, Wedge?

GREG- (startled) Huh?

BRIANA- Relax, I’m not going to hurt you.

GREG- Sorry. You just scared me.

BRIANA- What’s the rush?

GREG- Just on my way back to work.

BRIANA- Are there a lot of pizzas to deliver at (looks at watch) midnight?
GREG- Not really. We’re closed.
BRIANA- (nods) Then have a seat. Keep me company.

GREG- (after a pause) Okay.

(Greg sits beside her.)

BRIANA- I’m sorry about what happened earlier.

GREG- Hmm? Oh, you mean Justin.

BRIANA- He can be such a jerk.

GREG- It’s okay. No harm done.

BRIANA- No, it’s not okay. He totally broke into my house and ordered a pizza and then

made you climb the outside of my house with it.

GREG- It was good exercise, really. I never do any working out.

BRIANA- You’re an understanding guy, Wedge. I should be so lucky to find a guy like you.

GREG- What...uh, what are you doing?

BRIANA- Just watching.

GREG- Whatcha watching?

BRIANA- That wall.

GREG- Oh. (pause) Any particular reason?

BRIANA- (shrugs) Do I need one?
GREG- I guess not.

BRIANA- Then why did you ask?

GREG- Sorry.

BRIANA- (smiles, pats him on the arm) It’s okay. I’m sorry we’ve never talked before.

            You’re a different kinda guy, Wedge.
GREG- The name’s Greg.

BRIANA- Sorry. (holds her hand to shake) Call me Briana.

GREG- (shakes her hand) Okay. Briana.

BRIANA- How’d you ever come by the name Wedge? Watch Star Wars a few too many

times?

GREG- That’s what I tell people.

BRIANA- So what’s the real story?

GREG- How do ou know that isn’t the real story?

BRIANA- Because if it were the real story, you would have simply answered with a “yes”

and that would have ended it. But, you didn’t say “yes.” You said, “That’s what I

tell people, implying that there’s another story behind that nickname.

GREG- Seventh grade. Gym class. Got it in the locker room. Do I need to go on?

BRIANA- I get the picture. I think I’d stick with the Star Wars story too.

GREG- Yeah.

BRIANA- So, you deliver pizzas for a living?

GREG- And you like to stare at walls.

BRIANA- (small laugh) Can I tell you something? I love that wall. Ask me anything

            about it, and I’ll tell you.

GREG- What color is it?
BRIANA- Tan.

GREG- Any other color?

BRIANA- White.

GREG- What’s it made out of?
BRIANA- Brick.

GREG- Anything else?

BRIANA- Mortar.

GREG- You do know a lot about that wall.

BRIANA- You wanna know a secret?

GREG- About the wall?

BRIANA- Yeah.

GREG- Does it have anything to do with Jimmy Hoffa?

BRIANA- Who?

GREG- Skip it.

BRIANA- Do you wanna know what I like best about that wall?

GREG- It’s attached to the Fashion Shop?

BRIANA- Like I’d be caught dead in there.

GREG- Tell me.

BRIANA- It’s solid. It’s real. I mean, it’s absolute. It’s always here, it never changes...             It’s something I can count on.

GREG- Whenever I want to see something real like that, I look at the stars.

BRIANA- You can’t always count on them. Sometimes you can see ‘em, sometimes it’s

            too cloudy.

GREG- True, but just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they’re not there.

            Eventually the clouds roll back and the stars appear again.

BRIANA- Yeah, but sometimes the stars disappear for more than a week. Then when the

            clouds roll back, you miss them completely because (thoughtful pause) you’ve

            quit looking.

GREG- That’s why you can’t give up looking. The stars didn’t go any where. They’re

            still shining away like always. You’ve just got to keep your faith that one day the

            clouds will part and the stars will appear again.

BRIANA- That’s a really neat way to look at it.

(Briana shivers a bit. Greg sees this, takes off his jacket, and puts it on her. He wears a long sleeve shirt with a Colts t-shirt.)

BRIANA- You don’t have to do that.

GREG- It’s chilly out. You need it.

BRIANA- What about you?
GREG- I’ve got sleeves.

BRIANA- (nods to his shirt) Colts fan, huh?

GREG- Yeah.

BRIANA- You know they only won one game last year.

GREG- Hey, I was born and raised a Colts fan. From the time I was three, I can

            remember watching the games at home with my dad. I’ll die a Colts fan.

BRIANA- Nice to see someone who believes in team loyalty. I’m a Bears fan myself.

GREG- You like football?

BRIANA- Anything wrong with that?

GREG- No! I’ve just never met a girl who liked football before.
BRIANA- I love it. My ex-step-dork got me into it. He was a total jerk, but he did

            take us see to the Bears when I was 6. It was the most exciting night of my life. Until

he got drunk and ruined the whole trip, but I’ve loved my Bears ever since.

GREG- Well, I hate to tell you this, but your Bears didn’t do so hot last year either.

BRIANA- I don’t even care. Every season’s a fresh start. You watch. They’ll get back to

            the Super Bowl before you know it.

GREG- (laughs.) You are a fan.

BRIANA- (smiles, looks up) They are beautiful tonight, aren’t they?

GREG- What’s that?

BRIANA- The stars!

GREG- Oh yeah. They are.

BRIANA- More beautiful than I’ve seen in a long time.

GREG- You know, I don’t think I ever remember seeing them twinkle like that.

BRIANA- (another pause) Did you ever wish on a star, Greg?

GREG- No. But I did ask Santa Claus for roller blades once.

BRIANA- Did you get them?

GREG- Yeah. Skinned my knees up pretty bad my first day. I never picked them up

            again.

BRIANA- You never wished for anything else?

GREG- I always wanted a pet. When I got my first job delivering papers, I saved up

            enough money and my parents let me get a hamster.

BRIANA- Aww.

GREG- That ended in disaster, too. After a few weeks, I got so busy with school and my

            job and music lessons, I started to forget about him and...

BRIANA- You didn’t!

GREG- I forgot to feed Toby.

BRIANA- (slaps him playfully) Greg!

GREG- I buried him with full honors in the backyard. I posted my GI Joes at his grave

            site with a flag at half mast for a week.

BRIANA- As long as you felt bad about it.

GREG- I hate telling that story. It’s like having a car accident with a deer. If you swerve

            to miss the deer and hit a tree, the guys make fun of you. If you kill Bambi, the

            girls won’t talk to you.

BRIANA- You better believe it.

GREG- I never understood girls.

BRIANA- That makes two of us...I mean, in reverse. I don’t get guys. (looks back to the

            stars) Have you ever been in love?

GREG- Not that I can say the other person loved me, too. The only dates I’ve ever got,

            I’ve been the transition guy.

BRIANA- Ever been kissed?

GREG- (slowly smiles, then) Yeah.

BRIANA- Who? (waits) Who? Tell me.

GREG- Danielle Kline.

BRIANA- (laughs) Danielle Kline?

GREG- She was one of my best friends back in my sophomore year. I was in the pit for

            Brigadoon she was talking with Laura Barnard about kissing, and I just sorta

            mentioned I’d never been kissed before and...

BRIANA- (laughs harder) That doesn’t count.

GREG- Of course it does.

BRIANA- No it doesn’t. You cheated.

GREG- Hey, it meant something to me, and that’s all that should matter.

BRIANA- Well, I can’t argue with that. (laughs) I just never imagined you with Danielle

            Kline.

GREG- So tell me yours.

BRIANA- (in a “yeah, right!” tone) No.

GREG- Come on. It’s only fair.

BRIANA- I don’t kiss and tell.

GREG- Come on.

BRIANA- I said no.

GREG- Fine. (rolls his eyes)

BRIANA- (another long pause) Six months ago, I made a wish on a star.

GREG- To fall in love?
BRIANA- For someone to love me. Not somebody to go out with. Someone that would

            give my life meaning.

GREG- Who was it?

BRIANA- I don’t know how much you’ve heard about me, but I haven’t had the best life.

            My mom’s been married three times. Each new guy she brought home treated us

            worse than the one before. And I’m not exactly little miss innocent. I’ve pretty

            much been and done it all. (pause) I wanted there to be an escape from the pain

            I’d carried all my life. I’ve sold my soul to the worst guys on Earth looking for it.

            Each one just destroyed my heart one piece at a time. So six months ago, a friend

            of mine takes me out an gives me the chance to meet this guy.

GREG- Not Justin, I hope.

BRIANA- I’d heard about him for years. They told me he liked me a lot. He loved me. He

wanted to have a relationship with me, to give me the new life I’d always dreamed

of. (looks at the ground) I really thought I’d found my Adam.

GREG- Adam?

BRIANA- Have you ever seen the movie Untamed Heart?

GREG- Never heard of it.

BRIANA- Marisa Tomei and Christian Slater. She’s a waitress who’s always getting her

            heart broken by jerks until she falls in love with Christian Slater. But he’s got this

            heart condition, and...

GREG- He dies, doesn’t he?

BRIANA- Yeah.

GREG- Chick movie.

BRIANA- It is not. It’s a love story, and I know guys who love it just the same as girls.

GREG- Name one.

(Blackout.)