CHARACTERS

Dad

Mom

Son

Daughter

(Dad enters. His hand is behind his back.)

DAD- Honey, I'm home.

MOM- Oh, sugar baby, you're home.

DAD- Where are the kids?

MOM- I don't know.

DAD- (calls off) Kids, come down here.

(Son and Daughter enter.)

SON- You called?

DAUGHER- What did you want?

DAD- I brought something for the whole family.

(Dad pulls his hand out as if holding a jar.)

MOM- What is it?

DAD- It's mayonnaise.

SON- But don't we already have twelve jars in the kitchen?

DAUGHTER- Yeah. You bring home mayonnaise every day. We're kind of tired of it.

DAD- You don't like mayonnaise?

DAUGHTER- No.

DAD- Go to your room.

(Daughter exits.)

DAD- What do you have to say?

SON- Nothing.

DAD- Go to your room.

SON- Okee dokee.

(Son exits.)

MOM- Honey, don't you think we already have enough mayonnaise?

DAD- There's always room for more mayonnaise. I love it. Now go to your room.

MOM- But I'm your wife.

DAD- Oh, then I'll be up in a few minutes.

(Mom exits.)

DAD- I love you, Mr. Mayonnaise.

(Dad kisses jar, then exits.)

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